Han-gyeol didn’t say anything in response to what I’d said.
Was my best effort still not enough? Was he still angry?
After pouring out my words, I felt adrift in the ensuing silence. Just as I began to worry that I’d done something wrong, Han-gyeol finally spoke.
“Eun-ha.”
“Huh?”
“You said you can’t tell me the reason because it’s personal, right? That’s enough for me. In fact, I wanted to hear you say just that. I appreciate you being honest with me.”
As soon as I saw the corners of Han-gyeol’s mouth raising slightly, I turned my head around without realizing it. I tried to hide it, but I could feel my face turn red again.
I was initially worried that Han-gyeol would feel frustrated because I couldn’t tell him the reason, but now I was really relieved.
“Thank you for saying that...”
The atmosphere felt a little awkward even though I was glad things seemed to be resolving well. We hadn’t had a major fight or anything; we’d merely smoothed out a minor knot.
The moment felt both awkward and embarrassing. But I felt relieved because Han-gyeol had accepted it as it was.
“It’s a bit awkward, huh? haha.”
Han-gyeol just vocalized what we were both feeling. I couldn’t read his mind, but he seemed like a remarkably clear and straightforward person. Honest and direct, speaking without any pretense. It was seemingly simple but in another way, there was nothing more difficult.
“Actually, I was thinking the same thing. It’s a bit awkward!”
In the hopes of being even just a little like Han-gyeol, I also openly expressed my thoughts.
“Well, let’s eat then. We haven’t even touched the food we ordered.”
“Sure, let’s. Ah- I’ll do it. Could you pass me the knife and fork?”
“Oh, will you? I’m not so good at cutting bread.”
Han-gyeol who was preparing to cut the bread, handed me the knife and fork.
Although I was not particularly skilled at it either, I did my best to slice the bread neatly.
After that, we each picked up a piece of bread with our forks and ate.
It tasted sweet and delicious. Perhaps it tasted better because I was sharing it with Han-gyeol.
“Ah- right. My sister and brother mentioned they contacted you. Is that true?”
“Ah- Yes. Hyun-joo Noona asked if I wanted tutoring, and Eunwoo Hyung invited me to play a few rounds of a game, so we played together.”
“If you feel uncomfortable, please tell me. I’ll talk to them about it.”
“They both approached me so carefully that I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. I can sense their consideration.”
“Hyun-joo Unni being considerate is one thing, but my brother too?”
“He seemed even more considerate than Hyun-joo Noona.”
Does he really idolize Han-gyeol or something? As long as Han-gyeol is okay with it, it doesn’t really matter.
“Ah- come to think of it, we have our mock exams next week.”
“Yeah, our first mock exams since entering senior year of high school. I’m a bit nervous.”
“Just relax and you’ll do fine. Don’t worry too much.”
“I’d feel guilty if I don’t get a good score. By the way, how do you usually study, Han-gyeol?”
“I only listen to online lectures. It suits me better. When I can concentrate, I can listen continuously, and when I need a break, I can take one.”
“You’re quite efficient on your own, aren’t you?”
“Not always. Somehow, things go better when I’m with someone I’m comfortable with. But you are the only person like that, Eun-ha.”
I was quite pleased with Han-gyeol’s remark. I even had to resist the urge to break into a big grin.
“Eun-ha?”
“Yes? What?”
“Sorry for telling you this late, but there’s some whipped cream on the right corner of your mouth.”
“What-! Why are you telling me just now?”
“I was contemplating whether it’s right to tell a girl that she has cream on her face.”
“You can tell me right away next time!”
I hastily wiped the right corner of my mouth with a tissue.
“By my perspective, I meant the right. From your perspective, it’s the left. Haha”
“Ugh-!”
Even though I was embarrassed, I couldn’t help but keep staring at Han-gyeol’s smiling face, trying to imprint the memory so I wouldn’t yearn for it when I got home.
We continued talking about various things on our way home.
To be honest, I wanted to spend more time with Han-gyeol, but I couldn’t be selfish.
“Then, Eun-ha. See you at school tomorrow.”
“Yep. Take care, Han-gyeol. Thanks for the drink and bread.”
“Sure thing. Let’s eat something without whipped cream next time?”
“Hey!”
“Haha! I’ll be off. See you tomorrow~”
“Yep. See you tomorrow.”
After saying goodbye to Han-gyeol, I headed home as well.
However, I couldn’t help but turn around to steal a last glance at his retreating figure.
Lunch and a café visit, and then just straight home... It’s a bit disappointing, isn’t it?
Should I gather the courage to extend our time together next time?
****
What greeted me when I returned home was the stuffed animal Han-gyeol had given me.
I squeezed the doll sitting on the table a few times before flopping onto my bed.
What does Han-gyeol think of me?
Would giving me handmade chocolate mean he thinks of me as someone special?
Or is it presumptuous to think that I might be special to Han-gyeol?
As those questions swirled in my mind, I cautiously hugged the stuffed animal to my chest, hoping it would calm my racing heart.
Yet, if anything, my heartbeat only sped up even more.
What could Han-gyeol be doing now?
Is he washing up and lying down on his bed like me?
Contemplating whether to reach out, I finally picked up my smartphone.
I clicked on Han-gyeol’s profile to check if he had uploaded a profile picture.
But there was only the default profile image, same as mine.
Nevertheless, I mustered the courage to send Han-gyeol a message.
[Did you get home safely?]
This should be fine, right?
But the gray ticks indicating an unread message disappeared almost immediately.
[Yeah, I got home safely. How about you, Eun-ha?]
I was delighted at the swift response.
Lying on my bed, I move my fingers happily.
[Yeah, I got home safely.]
[What were you doing?]
[I was just lying down. How about you, Han-gyeol?]
[I was also just lying down.]
There were no grey ticks appearing in the messaging window with Han-gyeol.
He must be staring at our chat, just like me.
The realization that we were looking at the same screen made me inexplicably happy.
With a joyful heart, I tapped on my smartphone screen.
[Did you have any plans for today? I called you out so suddenly.]
[Hmm? No, I didn’t have any particular plans. Thanks for calling me out.]
With a sly chuckle, I sent the message.
Han-gyeol had a way of making everything sound so charming.
I threw him a joke that was a little out of character for me.
[If you’re thankful, buy me something delicious.]
[Sure. I’ll make sure to get something without whipped cream.]
Ugh—
[A mistake. A mistake. Forget it now.]
[But I only eat bread with whipped cream.]
[Stop lying!]
Ah—was that last message a bit too aggressive?
But before I could dwell on it, Han-gyeol effortlessly brushed it off with cheeky banter.
[You’re right. I was lying.]
I burst into laughter.
I was sure I was being tased, but I didn’t know why I was laughing?
I continued our text conversation, grinning all the while.
Topics ranged from what we ate for breakfast, to locking eyes with a stray cat on our way home, to warnings about catching a cold as the temperature was set to drop next week.
In our chat, where the grey ticks indicating an unread message never appeared, Han-gyeol and I kept texting.
Eventually, the subject shifted to profile pictures.
[Do you never set a profile picture, Eun-ha?]
[Yeah. I don’t even know what to set, and I haven’t really paid attention to it.]
[To be honest, me neither. But since it came up, should we try setting one?]
[What are you planning to use?]
[Wait and see.]
[Okay.]
I waited for Han-gyeol to return to the chat.
Suddenly, his profile picture changed, and I immediately checked it out.
It was a picture of cream bread, and I burst into laughter.
“Pwahaha! What is this?!”
Alone in my room, I laughed so hard that I was wheezing. My stomach hurt from laughing so much.
[How’s my profile pic?]
Han-gyeol, having changed his profile picture, was back.
Still laughing, I shot back a reply.
[Han-gyeol, you better take that down. You brought up the profile picture topic just to do this, didn’t you?]
[Wasn’t it clever?]
[You’re in big trouble now?]
[Okay, I’ll change it quickly.]
[Yeah, hurry back.]
I waited for Han-gyeol again.
But instead of changing his profile picture, he sent another message.
[Eun-ha, why isn’t my profile picture changing?]
[Don’t lie! What would you do if I was able to change it?]
[Sorry. I’ll hurry and change it.]
[Come back quickly.]
Han-gyeol reverted his profile picture back to the default and returned.
[Now that I’ve tried changing it, how about you give it a go, Eun-ha?]
[Me? Hmm—give me a moment to think.]
I paused my texting to ponder.
My profile picture had always been the default.
As I was contemplating what to choose, my eyes fell upon the blue turtle doll that Han-gyeol had gifted me. I propped it up against the headboard of my bed and took a quick photo.
I briefly admired the picture in my gallery but ultimately couldn’t bring myself to set it as my profile picture.
Because it felt like it would give away my feelings.
Because I had tightly embraced this plushie earlier.
...Because I was clearly thinking of Han-gyeol when I did it.
My heart was pounding so loudly that it felt like its sound reached my ears.
--- The End OF The Chapter ---
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